“My name is Denai and I am an information junkie.”

Yes, you read right. I admit it. I am fine with it. Actually, I get excited about it…

INFORMATION!!!

My library is constantly growing! Not just in my office, but on my computer, on my external hard-drive, and on MY internal hard-drive (AKA, my brain).

It is days like this when I wish I was a master of my folders – online and offline and internally.

It is days like this when I want to hire a Professional Organizer to come in and work in my office, on my files, and then, if possible, the loose papers that are piling up in my mind from the information I am absurdly absorbing!!!

My buddy, Ron White, is a MASTER at memory…correction (as he reads this and chuckles), he is a memory expert! If I could borrow his brain to teach mine the amazing memory and filing system he has been using for the past 18 plus years, I’d be all over it!!! Sadly, I think the only way to make that happen is with a transplant and I really don’t see that happening.

So, here I am…STUCK!

A stack of books I just ordered from Amazon (you know I have a link on the right that share with you some of my fav reads, right? Needless to say, the list is GROWING….). Followed by a few items from Christianbooks.com…followed by the “OH NO, I FORGOT I SUBSCRIBED TO THAT eMAGAZINE IN MARCH,” and the “Wait a minute! I ordered a book from that lady’s site 4 months ago, they charged me for it 3 times and I still don’t have my book…” which leads me to the “WHERE DO I START NOW?” question.

Have you ever been there?
If you are laughing, it’s because you ARE THERE right now, you HAVE BEEN there, or you have a spouse/child whom my remarks resemble and you are thinking, “I sooo know what you mean!”

Oh, and let’s not forget the CDs and DVDs, eBooks and numerous eZines.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT ALL?!?

I have been thinking the same thing and I actually have a few ideas to share!!!

1) The online stuff, if your subscription expires soon, copy and paste the information you can just download and save so you aren’t feeling rushed to read it/review it.
2) The CDs and DVDs can be items you SHARE with teammates, colleagues, even family. Let them borrow the information and upon it’s return, ASK THEM what they learned, liked, used, etc. This will help you to determine which are and aren’t worth your time…and then you may just want to reply with “GREAT, keep it!!!”
3) Record yourself reading the books outloud. Why? Well, for one, you will retain more of what you read when you HEAR yourself saying it and not just reading it. TWO, if the author doesn’t have an audio of the book yet, you may have just opened the door to a business opportunity! And, if not, you still have the audio YOU can replay and that you can share. (some people are sooo picky about their books and not sharing them because of all the notes, highlights, etc. I am NOT one of those but I do know some that are – LOL).
4) Prioritize. Look at your stack of books and then stack them in the order you want to read them. Then set a daily goal. Is it an hour or 2? Maybe it is that you will ready every day during your lunch break or that you put a note on your TV that reads, “READ!!!” (lol – get it?!?)

What ideas do you have?
I’m only sharing a few so you can comment below and share what pops into your mind . . . that is, unless you are already on INFORMATION OVERLOAD and can’t stand to be asked to think about one more thing.

Did you know…
The men and women who are earning the HIGHEST INCOME in the United States are also the same men and women who are reading AT LEAST 6 books in a year, typically it is more than that. Can you say that in 2010 YOU have already read 6 books (and we aren’t talking “learn to read” books, either, folks, as I know all too well about those little books – my daughter just started kindergarten!).

Have you made a list of MUST READ IN 2010?
Here’s a few I recommend you put on your list. If you have already read one of these THIS YEAR, then find one to replace it. (duh….)
1) Think & Grow Rich by Napolean Hill
2) Peptide Immunotherapy by Dr. Keech
3) The Bible
4) Money is My Friend by Jeffery Combs
5) StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath (or Now Discover Your [Sales] Strengths by Marcus Buckingham & Donald O Clifton)
6) The Shack (which my husband just finished reading and it isn’t back on the shelf yet – LOL)

And that isn’t even 1/10th of a shelf in my library!

Dust off some books on your bookshelf.
Grab a bookmark.
Get a lamp or flashlight by your bed.
Have your pillows on the couch ready for you to plop down.

GET TO READING and watch your income SOAR!!!
Now, when you are ready to go DEEPER into developing your library, I have some MORE great books to share with you!!!
Keep your library well-rounded.
Keep your brain engaged.

I read all kinds of books for that very reason…it’s a way to EDUCATE yourself on your industry, your nation, your company, your product, your service, other people & their needs, and on YOU.
Personal Development
Health & Wellness
Business
Fiction
….just stop in a bookstore to see what titles they have hanging over the different sections and see if you have ONE BOOK that covers each section. I’d be interested in knowing…what did you find out about yourself?

Well, enjoy the read.
Enjoy the learning.
Enjoy the overload on information…but not if you implement some of the ideas above and that are shared in the comments below.

And with that…my tired eyes and racing brain are calling it a night (even though it is now morning – sigh…).

p.s. the 6 books are in no particular order except the ones on my desk or shelf that jumped out at me first. LOL

As I was driving home today I was dodging POTHOLES. It was like playing Centipede and dodging mushrooms – there were so many of them!!! (If you don’t recall the Atari game then welcome to the 80s!!!)

I then start thinking about how in NETWORKING there are POTHOLES, too.
Think about it…

Are there people you will DODGE?
Have you ever SWERVED even ever so slightly into “oncoming traffic” to avoid them?
What about going over the pothole as fast as you can to get it over with and minimize the damage…?

Powerful visuals, aren’t they?

You can think of a “pothole” in your network in many different ways.

It can be PEOPLE who are the potholes – they cause damage to your business whenever you run into them. They only have negative things to say or share and that can bring DOWN your UP mood. They tend to point out what is WRONG with everything (be it about you or them or someone/thing). They seldom find the GOOD in anything or point it out. So, the damage here can be emotional, as well as physical and financial.
? : Ever heard, “Attitude is Everything!”? Well, a person with a “pothole” attitude has the WRONG attitude! I’d rather run with a “mountain climber” who is unstoppable, caring & sharing.

It can be TECHNOLOGY – when something doesn’t work or work right. Do you work through it, seek help, drop it all together, or ???. Maybe you have delayed promoting your business on Social Media or networking sites. There is the FEAR of the unknown (when it comes to technology or anything else). What is your approach to technology “potholes”? Dodge it…zip through it…swerve around it…or ??? There may be some tools you have yet to implemented, or started but need to go back and finish up – like creating a LinkedIn profile or starting a Fan Page on Facebook, or maybe it is diving into Twitter!
? : Are you familiar with a company called “Nike”? What do they say? JUST DO IT! (and if you aren’t sure how, swallow your pride and ask for help)

It can be (gasp) Y.O.U.! When is the last time you asked a Professional Networker or someone whom you know that will tell you, no matter how much the truth hurts, what feedback they have on your networking skills? You may be blessed with the “gift of gab” but is gabbing too much losing you money and connections? For me, I can say that WAS one of my flaws when I networked at LIVE events. I am a “chatty Cathy” – I will talk with anyone about almost anything for as long as humanly possible…but then that made me late to my next appointment and didn’t allow time to meet others, or enable me to schedule a follow-up meeting with the person as we already talked about everything there was to talk about…and BLAH BLAH BLAH. (Are you getting the idea here?)
Sometimes, the problem isn’t them, it is us – you – me – I…which isn’t the easiest thing in the world to come to terms with. . . but it IS the easiest thing to fix because “YOU” is something you control. (WOOHOO, right?!?) I mean, if you listed the “pothole people” in your network and then set out to fix each of them, how long would it take you? If you decided and were determined to nail down the technology issues you were having and to overcome them ALL, how much time, energy, and effort would it require and how much business would you lose out on over that period of time? Yet, when it is YOU that needs a few tweaks in their networking and some new ideas to implement, how quickly can you do just that? IN MINUTES!!!

There are other “potholes” you will come up with as you think about it. So make a list (and then check it twice just like Santa Claus does) and then prioritize them based on these 3 categories:
1) Things I can control.
2) Things I can’t control, others do.
3) Things I am committed to changing in the next 30- 60 days.

See what lands on your Committed – Control list and which “potholes” you will continue to ZIP OVER, SWERVE AROUND, or COMPLETELY DODGE. And have fun as you do it…you might even make a game of it!

We played HANGMAN on my FanPage last week. GAMES ARE FUN!!! (that’s a random thought on a Monday for you…)

Oh, and now for another “Random thought for a Monday”…
1) Have you ever wondered how people get all of those symbols, weird fonts, and goofy letters in their status updates/wall posts on Facebook or in a comment, note, discussion, etc.?
WELL…you don’t have to copy and paste that info anymore.
Just bookmark this great “cheat sheet” page I found today – I just love “borrowing” code, don’t you?

Why reinvent the wheel?
Instead, just find someone who’s done it an WAH LAH!!!
Here’s your “wheel” (in keeping with the pothole theme of the day) –

http://www.spike-jamie.com/alt-codes.html

2) I’m using a FANTASTIC, FUN and FAST new tool that allows me to share information on ALL my friends’ walls on Facebook at one time.
None of that “copy and paste” stuff. The messages are personalized.
No trying to get to EVERYONE’S page in a day…with 5000 friends, do you know how LONG that would take me?
LOTS more interaction with Facebook friends, prospects, and clients. WOOHOO!!!
I am TOTALLY loving this and am ecstatic about how it’s helping my business and FanPage to grow, not to mention my subscribers for THIS BLOG and my website. THIS ROCKS!!!
Yes, I have had ONE PERSON not so thrilled about it…but guess what? [deleted them] There are over 5 MILLION people on Facebook so removing ONE makes room for someone NEW on my Profile Page. OUT with the negativism and IN with the optimists.

If YOU don’t like it, then “sit on a tack” as the song goes. As for me and my house, we are going to keep on keeping on because THIS WORKS!!!

Hope you enjoyed the read. If so, be sure to comment below – though they are moderated to prevent junk like spam from posting, the REAL comments get posted. WOOHOO!!!
AND AND AND, don’t forget to subscribe to the emails I send out for this blog, too. I don’t sell your info or spam you with junk. It’s all content-driven, relevant, and business building info you will be blessed by. I hope you subscribe!!!

Marketing MADNESS in May? It is a good thing! Is it time to \"blast off\" with a new look?

Michael Hillebrand, owner of InterStark Media, joins me on “Only3Degrees” for an information packed hour on ONLINE MARKETING.

No matter your business or length IN business, this show will include ideas you can use, information you can rely on and content you can chew…and really SHOULD implement.

Located in Kansas City, Missouri, InterStark is positioned perfectly to communicate and do business whenever and wherever needed…and they do JUST that as their business has expanded so much in the past 9 months, they are looking to open additional office across the U.S. – WOO HOO!!! In addition to Internet Marketing, their Marketing Research has them breaking records, and making “labels,” so to speak. Strategic Solutions are here as they also provide YOU with research on the COMPETITION. Would that be of value to you? CHECK THEM OUT: http://Interstark.com (they are also the PLATINUM SPONSOR of Only3Degrees)

If Applebee’s, Sprint, and a few other “big names” have hired this company then, needless to say, they are worth taking a look at…add to that, this is the company who designed MY website (TheNetworkingQueen.net)!
Gotta love it.

Enjoy the replay of this show from May. As school begins for the kids, it is also a GREAT TIME to “re-school” yourself on new ideas, strategies, and techniques. These will catapult your business to the next level! As we look upon the onset of fourth quarter, which is really approaching faster and faster this year, it’s also time to ACHIEVE and EXCEED our 2010 goals!

Can’t wait to read your comments below about this show…

DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE TO OUR ENEWSLETTER – THE FORM IS ON THE TOP RIGHT!

If you learned to ride a bike, you have overcome failure. Did you realize that?

If you think back to your younger years…which I am SURE wasn’t too long ago, how many times did you practice riding your bike (without training wheels) before you were able to ride alone…no help from parents/others?
Do you remember the number of times you FAILED before you succeeded?
Do you recall the FEELING of riding your bike for the first time…without training wheels or help balancing, but ALONE?

Take the next few minutes to visualize it…
the bike and what it looked like
what you were wearing
where you lived
who was watching
…do you see it?

If you can tie your own shoes (slip-ons and velcro do NOT count here so don’t cheat – LOL), you have succeeded where once you failed.
Do the same exercise as we did with the bicycle. Feel it. Visualize it. Relive it…

What about taking your driving test? Did you pass it the first time? I DIDN’T!
I took the written test – passed it.
Took the driving test and as we pulled into the parking lot, she told me I did great and would pass…all I had to do was park the car. Well, I got into the stall and instead of the brake I hit the GAS and rammed the car into the metal barrier (luckily, no damage was done). So that was an INSTANT FAILURE!

I remember all too well what that felt like…I am reliving the emotions of it all as I type because it is still so real to me. I was embarrassed and new it was something I would be teased about for years because I had FAILED!

Do you think I learned from my mistake?
YOU BETCHA!
When I retook my test, I ACED the driving portion!!!

You see, I learned from my failure and it helped me to improve “for the next time around.”

In life, there will be things we are FAILURES at and things we SUCCEED in doing. The power comes in knowing what we are good at and using our skills, talents, and knowledge to help us SUCCEED if even we experience numerous failures along the way.

I know one of my gifts is marketing. I am very talented at presenting ideas and strategies for every business and business person so they can capitalize on what works best FOR THEM. Many companies have a “cookie cutter system” that they recommend for everyone. The difference I bring to the table is determining STRENGTHS and using those to build a marketing plan that will help you experience SUCCESS faster than trying to force you into doing something that is out of your comfort zone.

NOW, let me add that what I share are merely ideas that you can take or leave, and some WILL push you beyond your current beliefs in self. It may not be the EASIEST thing in the world to do, but it WILL benefit you. . . and you may experience failure (GASP) along the way.

Think about your first bike ride…first tying your shoes…first time driving or getting your license…when you were proposed to or proposed to your bride even! It doesn’t always go as you visualize but it is now behind you…over with…and you have moved past it. RIGHT?!?

In business, in networking, in LIFE you will have failures. That is the truth!

Just like there is a 100% chance that we will all die – it is an indisputable truth!!!

In both, the difference is what you do with the challenges along the way and if you are going to just give up and throw in the towel, or if you are going to see it to the finish!

“I press on towards the goal to win the prize…”

YOUR CHALLENGE:
What will you attempt TODAY that may lead to failure or could lead you to SUCCESS?

You have to “fail forward”…just like Einstein!

I hope you take time to comment below so we can CHEER YOU ON!!! Here’s to your failures that will ultimately bring you VICTORY.

DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE TO OUR ENEWSLETTER – THE FORM IS ON THE TOP RIGHT!
Don’t forget to post your comment below after reading today’s post. Great way to boost SEO. [wink wink]

In step #1 we talked about…
do you remember?

CONNECTING!!!

WOOHOO – good job – pat yourself on the back.
YOU REMEMBERED!!!
(and if you didn’t, just scroll down to the previous post so you can catchup)

Step #1: CONNECT

And now we are going to discuss STEP #2…
RELATE!!!

Finding commonalities is EASY to do (in most cases).
The key is LISTENING!!!

This is a skill many forget about.
Why?
Because we get so caught-up in the ME ME ME mentality.

It’s all about ME!
What’s in it for ME?!?
When can we talk about ME?
Why don’t you like ME?
Don’t you want to know more about ME?
I want a turn!
I need to talk!
I have to be heard!

Well, with that being said, who DOESN’T get the idea??? (message me and I’ll be happy to schedule time to listen so you can talk more about you, okay…JOKING HERE!!!)

As you read this, if you have a teenager, you are probably thinking, “My kid REALLY needs to read this!” but I want to encourage you to take a moment and read this post to see how it relates to Y-O-U.

Reflect upon what is shared here because there are times in ALL OF OUR LIVES that a conversation has been me-centered. Yes, even I am guilty of this…the Imperfect Networking Queen has her flaws just like everyone else.

How refreshing to know I AM NOT ALONE!!!
Aren’t you excited to know YOU AREN’T EITHER?!?

Take a deep breath and embrace these new ideas:
1) you don’t have to be perfect
2) it isn’t always about you
3) someone is waiting for you to just…LISTEN

With these three in mind, let’s continue looking at how we RELATE:

There are different personality types and, whether you have studied COLORS (red, yellow, green, blue, etc.) or ANIMALS (golden retriever, lion, otter, etc.), Myers-Briggs (ENFP, ISTJ, etc.), DISC, or the variety of other ways to determine (NOTE THE WORDING HERE) “Personality Preferences,” the common goal is to LEARN-KNOW-USE the skill.

Take a few minutes to think about WHAT YOU KNOW…
Which of these have you studied?
Which do you CONSCIOUSLY use?
When is the last time YOU did a self-assessment?
When’s the last time you USED this skill in a conversation…CONSCIOUSLY?

The good news is, it isn’t too late!
Think about the last person you met.
What do you recall about them? Name, age, family, occupation, recreational activities, motivators…
* Can you answer these questions about them?

You see, this is where you go from CONNECTING to RELATING!!!
Remember, it does NOT have to be perfect. . . NO ONE IS.

My friend, and Memory Expert (who is a GREAT TRAINER, by the way), Ron White, puts it this way:
“If you want to REMEMBER the person’s name you are about to meet then get your MIND ready to remember it! Tell yourself, ‘What is their name? What is their name? What is their name?’ as you approach them and when they say it, REPEAT IT…and then use it in a sentence, and then repeat it again, all in the initial introduction. GUARANTEED you won’t forget it.” He goes on to share additional memory tips for names (you can get them FREE on his website at http://brainathlete.com – no need for me to try and remember them all to repost here – LOL!!!) Oh, and let me also mention Ron is NOT the comedy some of you might be thinking of, in fact, THIS GUY holds the WORLD RECORD in a few categories…just ask him!

Going back to what I asked…what do you RECALL and what did you RETAIN from the last conversation you had with someone new? The “topics” mentioned above are commonly referred to as “F.O.R.M.” (Family – Occupation – Recreation – Motivators). GREAT technique to use when prospecting, but IDEAL for every conversation where you GENUINELY want to know more about the person. Use this acronym to help you interact with a new connection. It doesn’t have to be a prospect or new client…really – anyone will be happy to TALK and have you LISTEN…attentively.

[SIDENOTE: If you are married, try this with your spouse. Did you realize a number of divorces can be AVOIDED when a couple takes time to TALK and LISTEN to one another...affectionately, openly, honestly, and attentively - yes, even about FINANCES (the #1 cause of divorce). END SIDENOTE.]

Ways to SHOW you are being attentive and actively listening include (but are NOT limited to):
Be the one ASKING QUESTIONS.
Be the one LISTENING more often than talking.
Nodding your head in agreement with a statement or shaking it in disagreement.
Maintaining eye contact (and not dazing off into the distance).
Stop what you are doing and put distractions aside (this includes your cell phone).

This is an opportunity for YOU to make someone ELSE feel important! You have no idea what they might share, what you will learn, or a need only YOU are equipped to meet and that is why you are connecting in the first place!

“If you don’t ASK you will never get the answer you are looking for.”

And in business, aren’t we all looking to grow (personally &/or professionally) with each connection we make?

They may not be your next client but might they connect you to someone who is? SURE!
They may not be your next best friend, but could they become an acquaintance? ABSOLUTELY!
He may not have the answers to your questions, but refer you to someone who does.
She may not need your services, but her sister might.
That company may not be able to afford your fees, but the owner could call you in a few months…or even years to say they are ready to use you now!

My friend, Susan Sly, trains on a WONDERFUL technique I want to share with you. It really DOES work and really WILL benefit you…your business…and your networking, too, when you use this before asking ANYONE for a referral or begin sharing more about your business (and ESPECIALLY before you pitch your product/service)!

I just LOVE acronyms and this is another one you can commit to memory…EASILY!!!

C – common ground: You can find SOMETHING you have in common with EVERYONE…if you just remember WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY HOW.
This might even start with a compliment, as you, no doubt, have something nice to say about EVERYONE! No matter WHO they are, WHAT they do, WHERE they live or WHEN you meet them (just to give a few ideas on WHAT to speak on).

The key is to be GENUINE, not be fake. People can see right through that!

Here’s a few ideas you can use at a LIVE Networking Event for both COMMON GROUND and a COMPLIMENT:
“That was a GREAT commercial! Did you do that on the fly? ”
“I really liked the way you introduced yourself today. Can I get your card?
“I am having a difficult time getting up in front of the room. Can you tell me your secret to making it look so easy?”
“I couldn’t help but notice your business card. It looks fantastic! Who designed it? Who did you have print these?”
“After hearing you speak, I knew I had to meet you before I left! My name is, Denai, Denai Vaughn, and I would LOVE to schedule a 1-on-1 with you. I can’t wait to hear more about what you do and your business! Do you have time this week or next?”

In each example, notice there is a QUESTION for them to answer…TAH DAH! You are building a RELATIONSHIP as you begin RELATING to the other person more & more.

If you go back to my post on CONNECTING – STEP #1 – you’ll see a few more examples on things you might say that are for more “generic” use. The post is titled, Are Connections Costing You?.

A – affirmation: Some of the tips above flow RIGHT into this step. As you are complimenting them, you are building rapport (but again, this must be done in a genuine, meaningful, and thoughtful [not fake] way). As you learn more about the other person using “F.O.R.M.”, you can affirm (or re-affirm) what they say. For instance, if you learn they coach their son’s soccer team, you might say, “I am sure you are a wonderful coach and that your son really enjoys having you as his coach. How old is he?”
Here you have affirmed him AND you have also gathered more information…the age of their son. This can lead to more conversations about “Family” or “Recreation”. Which will allow you to RELATE more easily to one another…especially if YOU have coached your child’s soccer team in the past or are currently. LOOK for commonalities and expand the conversation in those areas. As you get to know the other person better, you will find EASIER and EASIER ways to affirm them, their decisions, what they are involved in, their skills, talents, and abilities.
Sadly, many will go YEARS without getting a compliment or receive words of affirmation. For someone like me whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation & Recognition, I wouldn’t last long AT ALL without it!

[Sidenote: Use what you are learning here to also build the relationship with your SPOUSE and FAMILY. Deepen your relationship and ignite a new kind of passion by listening attentively, and being an avid-learner of your life-partner!]

P – permission: Don’t just DIVE IN to your sales pitch when you first meet someone. COME ON!!! I hope you are wiser, smarter, and more respectful than that. This tip is all about RELATING and if you want to quickly break rapport, then “pitch away”. Don’t be surprised if you “wind up in the DITCH because of your PITCH!”
I had a guy say to me one time, “Now I need at least 5 referrals from you because time is money and the time we have spent together is costing ME money!” Don’t laugh…it happened. The guy was a Financial Planner in Arlington, TX. I remember it vividly!
We met at a Starbucks. He pulled out his yellowpad and a pen. He began numbering the margin 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and then told me to put their names and phone numbers down. NO JOKE! I was in shock…I mean, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
This happened when I first started attending networking events in Dallas in 2005. I left there shaking my head and in shock, wondering how long he’d been pulling this number. BASICALLY, he was, to me, implying that HIS TIME is more valuable than MY TIME! Also, that our MEETING was not of any value to him unless he had referrals from me so he could close deals.

Let me just say that this is NOT the way to ask permission but one way to get the ROYAL BOOT in the booty!!! (if you aren’t laughing then it is probably because you have either DONE THIS to someone or you have had it done to you and feel my pain…I feel yours!!!)

He has YET to do business with me, my family, or any of my close friends…can you guess why???

SOOOOO…..here’s what TO DO:
Ask permission.
It might sound like this, “Would it be okay with you if I share a little about myself?” When they say “YES” then take LESS THAN 3 minutes (more like 30-60 seconds if you can) to give a brief overview (notice I didn’t say BOOK REVIEW). Remember, it is more about THEM than it is about YOU.

What you share IS important. This is when you share your “hook” – this is a term used by presenters, trainers, facilitators, and public speakers to mean “ATTENTION GETTING POINT”.

Think of a fisherman (or woman, if you want to be “PC”) and how there is bait placed on a hook. You know you have “good bait” when the fish bite…even if they get away. A bite is still a bite and gives confirmation that what you are using ON your hook works!

NOTE: The HOOK should be used in your 30 or 60-Second Commercial, or 3-7 minute introduction/spotlight at a networking event. You MUST include a HOOK if you want to grab a person’s attention and leave them longing to learn more! Options include: a startling statistic, recent news fact, a joke, or statements with a call to action like, “Raise your hand if…”, and/or “Who here knows…?” Something that gauges their attention and interest based on following what you ask them to do – it might even be to JUMP UP and some WILL DO IT! You already have their permission at a networking event WHEN YOU ARE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still ASK permission…though it’s implied, and you know the audience will say “yes” (for the most part), go ahead and ask.

Once they give you PERMISSION to share more, then keep it short and sweet so you can then give them more…

I – information: Details, a website, a brochure, a flyer, invitation to an event, schedule more time to chat longer, and especially to get THEIR contact information.

In this step, you do NOT want to overpower the conversation to go & on about you, your business, your life, you…You…YOU! Remember to keep it about THEM. Give them a LITTLE and let THEM ask YOU for MORE…but give it at a later time, such as in an email or scheduling another time to talk.

When you are passionate about your life, your business, and your purpose, it is easy to have “verbal vomit” – you get the idea from THAT, don’t you?!? Maybe you prefer to call it “TMI” – too MUCH information. The end result is the same – someone doing MOST of the talking and the LEAST of the listening.

Funny thing is, I have networked with people who LEAD networking groups and tell you NOT to do this, that, or the other, and when you meet with them, THEY BREAK ALL THE RULES!!! :S is the best way to put it…

“I remember my first networking group 20 years ago…we were…and I told them…and so I…and then we…and now I…and you should really…” And there goes OVER an hour of my life I will never get back to learn all about something I had no interest in.
Why???

It was them bragging about this that and the other! And what I learned is that people who CLAIM to be networkers, who might even LEAD as networking group, may even if they have a eBook on how to network, are IMPERFECT networkers, too, and need reminders time and again on HOW TO NETWORK.

When you get into a situation like this where someone is VERBAL VOMITING on you information you REALLY don’t want to hear or know about, draw them back in so they recognize the DISconnect they are creating.

“I appreciate your willingness to be so open with me and to share so much information but really, I came here today to learn more about YOU and who you are. I was hoping to learn more about the kinds of things you enjoy, maybe some of the different groups you attend and are involved in, if you have family and what your dreams are because that allows ME to get to know the REAL YOU, which is someone I can more easily refer people to. Do you mind if we start over?”

THAT would be called a C.L.U.E. – CLUE!!! If they don’t get it then thank them for their time and let them know you need to be on your way. End it short if you don’t feel it is going in the right direction! BE DECISIVE and DETERMINED.

One way to ensure this DOESN’T happen is to lay the ground work from the get go…otherwise, you may find yourself leaving on Information Overload after one hour PLUS of someone talking your ear off and you wondering what just happened. HEY, I know. It’s happened to me.

Live and Learn.

Some people you will meet online and offline are ONLY interested in the sale. If you want to get personal, they will want to get out! So let them!!!

As a master networker, you are using the steps that WORK and that LAST. Good news travels fast, my friend, and meetings with you will be GOOD NEWS that is traveling fast!!! Let those who choose to break all the rules break them and allow others to spread the bad news…we know that travels faster! Live and learn…live and learn…

OH, and one more tip as we close…since this post should REALLY be a part one and part two…maybe even THREE PARTS -

When you look back and realize you made the mistake of verbal vomiting, overpowering the conversation by doing all of the talking, or pitched someone before you even knew them…you get the idea, right?

Swallow your pride.
Take 100% responsibility.
Ask for forgiveness.
Ask for a 2nd chance.

And then, DON’T BLOW IT but show them what you have learned by TELLING THEM what you are going to do differently.

We all make mistakes, remember.
No one is perfect.
And admitting you were wrong is an INTEGRITY thing.

YOU ARE WORTH IT and the “pot of gold at the end of the rainbow” is worth the ride to the other side even through the storm…

We aren’t done yet!!! This is only Step#2 – RELATE!!!

Up next…
Step 3: REFER!!!